THE CHAMPS ARE HERE. AGAIN
As they wrapped up the title with three games to spare, it seemed vaguely fitting that Manchester City prefaced their coronation as Premier League champions with victory over the kind of cautionary rabble they could become themselves at some point whenever Pep Guardiola decides to leave the club. Chelsea weren’t as dreadful as they have been at many points throughout a season of violent self-sabotage, but for months they have been considerably less than the sum of their many very expensive and talented parts; a massive source of mirth for everyone but their own disbelieving fans. In much the same way as it seems inconceivable Chelsea will be as awful again when the new season dawns, given the excellence of some of their performances it seems similarly unlikely City will be quite as good. But assuming Guardiola isn’t tempted to walk off into the sunset like Kwai Chang Caine at the end of an episode of Kung Fu if his side wins Big Cup, there is every reason to believe that with a bit of tinkering he will further soup-up and fine-tune his already relentless winning machine.
While City’s players, staff and supporters celebrated their fifth title in six years at the Etihad Stadium, they will have been acutely aware that this was merely the first and arguably most routine instalment of a bigger trilogy. While the FA Cup has lost so much of its magic that even conversations about how much of its magic it has lost have lost their magic, winning it against your most bitter rivals to wrap up the second instalment of a prospective treble certainly makes it a whole lot more Hogwarts, not least when those bitter rivals are the only club in English history to have won that particular treble before.
“We will celebrate tonight and then move on to try and create history,” whooped Kyle Walker a few hours before he and his teammates rocked up at trendy Manchester nightspot MNKY HSE, no doubt to enjoy some Latin American cuisine re-imagined by chef Mark Morrans in a bold and indulgent sharing menu. “Rest assured we are not finished. We have the FA Cup against our bitter rivals and then [Big Cup].” Having arrived in what looked suspiciously like monogrammed pyjamas, Erling Haaland promptly rustled up a steak in the kitchen, while Walker serenaded John Stones with a re-imagining of Boney M’s Daddy Cool that included some b@nterific United-baiting.
Of course while all connected with City have every right to enjoy and celebrate their triumph, it behoves Football Daily in its role as a small cog in the giant media wheel that – according to those who guzzle down the Abu Dhabi Kool-Aid – is the well-documented conspiracy to further smear the club’s good name by pointing out that their latest state-funded title has left many folk cold. With those 115 charges of alleged financial shenanigans that nobody used to talk about but now can’t stop mentioning still hanging over them, each piece of silverware comes temporarily marked by an asterisk that can’t be ignored. With no end in sight to the investigation into these allegations, one suspects all those tainted by association would like to see the matter closed for good sooner rather than later. The City hierarchy have already stated as much but in reportedly raising an objection to Murray Rosen, head of the independent panel tasked with judging them, being an Arsenal fan, as well as other legal challenges, they seem absolutely hell-bent on obstructing what should be a fairly straightforward process at every turn.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It properly punched me on the nose when I first witnessed the suffering. This disease is the cruellest, nastiest disease that I know of” – Graeme Souness announces plans to swim the Channel and raise money for Debra, a charity which supports people with epidermolysis bullosa. The Scot decided to get involved after meeting Isla Grist, a 14-year-old living with the rare skin disorder. “From the time I have spent with Isla and her family, I have seen first-hand the extreme pain this devastating condition causes and the daily challenges it creates. Good luck to him.
How reassuring to see the full extent of Sam Allardyce’s ‘Big’-ness, taking full responsibility for Leeds’ difficulties on his broad shoulders, and not in any way blaming every and anyone else within effing-jeffing distan … er … hang on a minute” – Jeremy Boyce.
Roger Daltrey described the Rolling Stones as a mediocre pub band but with rock and roll’s No 1 showman up front. Watching Spurs on Saturday, that resonated” – Williams.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Jeremy Boyce.
